Letter to my Newborn Teen

Dearest Taylor,

I believe that the job of a parent is to be an authority figure first and a friend later.  However, I also believe that if you play your cards right, you can be the meanest, bossiest, most eye roll provoking jerk when needed and also have the great privilege of being a companion, a confidant, and a friend.  Honestly, I'm sure it has a lot less to do with how I play my cards and more that I was just dealt a great hand.  The best person I have ever met was born 13 years ago today.  You came in the littlest 3 pound package stuffed the fullest with all of the best things...wisdom, humility, kindness, empathy, heart, strength, generosity, pure love (I could go on and on, pretty sure I will ;)).   I haven't been the best mom over the last 13 years, I have had to learn a lot along the way and I make more mistakes than I care to count or list for you here.  There are a ton of books out there.  They can teach you how to change a diaper, how to take a temperature, how to potty train, how to deal with temper tantrums, and Dr Phil will ask you "How's that workin' for you?" and tell you it's not his first rodeo.  Taylor, you were my first rodeo, and you have taught me more than a book ever could.  It's not your job to teach me, it's my job to teach you...but somehow along the way your skills surpassed mine.  You are better at empathy, you are quicker with apologies, you are better at forgiveness, you are better at saying the right thing at the right time and you are better at hugs.  You inspire me and someday I want to be just like you.  Lucky for me, today, I get to be your friend.  I know now that these scary teen years are upon us, I won't always get to be your friend, but I hope I have done enough over the years for you to know that when you are in trouble I am going to be mean and bossy, but most importantly I am going to be there for you.  Happy Birthday Taylor Alexis Kontos!  Thank you for the last 13 years, I look forward to the following years with very little trepidation.
I love you!!
Mom

Chris Kontos

The first time I met Chris Kontos, I was prompted by a friend to say "hi" to a guy who apparently really wanted to meet me. I gave him a friendly "hello", he said "hello" and then he stared at his beer. In that moment we fell hopelessly in love. OK-that last part didn't really happen, our eyes didn't lock, there was no eye contact. We didn't bond over conversation, there was no conversation. It was quiet, really quiet and then awkward and then...over. I felt far inferior to the beer that he couldn't take his eyes off of and I left underwhelmed and unimpressed. Over the next few months, we would see each other around and I would give him that unenthusiastic hello that was first bestowed upon me and he would try to convince me that I wanted to date him. I didn't. Not until he stopped. Girls play games, and I was a girl. I was a bratty immature girl and I didn't like him showing attention to another girl. The stupid hello's and beer stares were for me! So, I gave him my number. My first date with Chris Kontos started every bit as romantic as that first meeting. I agreed to meet him at Dairy Queen and follow him out to a little farmhouse in the middle of nowhere by myself, because clearly my judgement was stellar and I hadn't watched enough horror movies or crime dramas. Our greeting wasn't a hand shake or even a hug. He stared at the menu on the wall (like he had stared at that beer that first night) and then reached back and smacked me right square in the chick-bits. It wasn't intentional, I could tell. He just wanted to ask what I wanted to order (I didn't want to order anything), and then because he felt awkward about that first innocent enough crotch grab, he decided to break the ice with a real one. This next part is where I demonstrate my complete lapse in good judgement--I STILL followed him to that little farm house in the middle of nowhere. It was there that I found out this quiet, shy, slightly perverse, beer romancing farm boy with mismatched clothing and poor social skills was actually a beautiful man child with a huge heart and a kind spirit. He was witty, intelligent and articulate, hard working and not the least bit shy or quiet. Oh, and colorblind, which explains the mismatched clothing.
It's now 16+ years later. On February 20th of this next year, Chris and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage. What he first saw in me, he says, was my smile. He knew that life and marriage would have it's ups and downs, but didn't know when he married me that a lot of the downs would come early, that the smile would waver and that pain and anger would take it's place. I'm not strong, he will be the first person to tell you that, but together we are strong. What I first saw in him was his humor, it's contagious, and it's therapeutic. Without him, without his humor and without his fierce love I am not sure who I would be today. Though I would strongly advise my children against following a crotch grabbing stranger down a dark country road at night, I will advise them to find that person who surprises them, who keeps them guessing but who never makes them guess if they are loved. I know I am loved, maybe not always liked, but usually liked and very loved.

Then-ish 

Now-ish